I wonder about a lot of things.......
I wonder if each of you reading this knows how much you mean to me?
I wonder what life would be like without so much financial stress?
I wonder is Madilyn's ear infections are ever going to go away?
I wonder if she's ever going to sleep through the night again?
I wonder what I'll do when she goes to school? what type of school?
I wonder if Madilyn is ever going to go back to eating somewhat normally or if being tube fed will always be part of our/her life?
I wonder is she will be self-sufficient someday or will she always need a caretaker?
I wonder if our therapists realize that most weeks they are the only adult interaction I have other than my immediate family and the teller in the checkout line?
I wonder what people think of me reaching out for fundraising help so we can attempt to breathe?
I wonder if I'll ever be able to go to work again or if full-time caregiver is my life?
I wonder if people, even those closest to me, realize just how often I cry?
I wonder if others realize just how much my children inspire me to be a better person?
I wonder if we will have to move away in order for my husband to obtain a better paying/benefits providing job?
I wonder if she'll ever be potty trained?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the grocery store without a set budget and meals planned?
I wonder if people know how amazing my son and daughter are with Madilyn?
I wonder if my husband knows how much he means to me even though I don't always show it?
I wonder if people know how hard it is for me to ask for help?
I wonder how long Madilyn will continue to do her new little war cry in her sleep before she lets out the tiniest little toot and contentedly goes back to sleep? Meanwhile, I'm awake watching her wondering why on earth she does that?
I wonder if people truly get as excited as I (we) do about the tiniest little accomplishments and milestones finally being met?
I wonder if her doctors/therapists know how overwhelming it is to know we have to add even more therapists?
I wonder if people realize how lonely and overwhelming our life can be at times?
I wonder if our new friend realizes how much it means to me to finally have someone in our lives that we have so much in common with?
I wonder most if people realize just how much I love my life even though it's a struggle?
Even with all of these concerns and wonders swimming in my head every single day I am learning not to dwell on them..........I am learning to live in the moment and for each tiny blessing that we have in our lives..........I am a work in progress, we all are.......I have learned to never, ever take anything for granted..not even the tiniest minuscule amount of progress or gesture of kindness.....
I guess my point of this whole blog is.....everyone has worries and concerns...we all have obstacles in our lives, some we share and some we don't....you never know what another person is going through..
So in the rush of our daily busy lives I ask that you :
1. smile at someone and say hello......it may be the only interaction they have
2. hold a door for someone or help carry someone's groceries
3. brush off the car next to you in the parking lot
4. attempt to do a random act of kindness every single day...........I speak from experience when I say it can change someone's life....:)
